


Insecurities Run Deep

by Fangodess



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Could be platonic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 08:24:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10918038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangodess/pseuds/Fangodess
Summary: This is my first work for this fandom and might be super OOC and bad but i hope to get better as i write more BMC.





	Insecurities Run Deep

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work for this fandom and might be super OOC and bad but i hope to get better as i write more BMC.

Jeremy lay curled up on his bed, sobbing. He hated himself, like truly hated himself. Before the SQUIP he had never thought he could hate himself as much as he did now. Everything about him was just terrible. He had placed a hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs and the other wrapped around his waist. He couldn’t let himself be what he was before the SQUIP, it had made it very clear that that version of him was horrible, but he also couldn’t be the version of him with the SQUIP, he was awful and arrogant. He didn’t know who he was anymore, he just knew that everything about him sucked.  
He heard his door open and burrowed deeper under the blanket begging that his dad would just think he was asleep.  
“Jeremy” he heard Michael say. He pretended to not have heard him and just to have been asleep.  
“Jeremy, I know you’re awake. Dude were you jerking off before I came in here? If you were, just tell me and I’ll just like come back in a minute,” Michael said snickering.  
Jeremy ran his arm over his nose trying to wipe away the snot and tears acumilating on his face, “yeah… yeah,” he stuttered out, “Just go and come back in like 10 minutes,” he said cursing himself because his voice cracking while talking.  
“Jeremy, dude, were you crying? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Michael said walking closer to Jeremy’s bed.  
“Nothing,” Jeremy said desperately he knew if Michael came closer he would know, Michael always knew, “Nothing. I’m fine. I just need a minute. I’ll be out in a minute.”  
“Jeremy I’m not leaving you here crying,” he said gently sitting on the bed laying his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder, “Tell me what’s wrong.”  
“Nothing,” he stuttered out breathe hitching, “I’m fine, honestly. Just go, please.”  
Michael got up and Jeremy let out a sigh. Thank god, he was leaving he wouldn’t see how weak Jeremy was being. Although a part of him was sad that Michael had just left him there. This brief moment of relief and slight sadness was quickly interrupted when he felt the blankets ripped away.  
Jeremy cried out in surprise looking up.  
“I knew you weren’t okay, Jeremy,” he said sitting down on the bed and placing his hand tenetivly on Jeremy’s waist, “Come on I care about you, tell me what’s wrong.”  
“Just go, I don’t want you to see how screwed up I am. I’ll be fine,” Jeremy said breathing stuttering as he gasped for air.  
Michael brushed the hair out of Jeremy’s face, “Tell me, nothing you say will make me leave you.”  
“You’ll probably hate me. I don’t know how you don’t already, I hate me,” he said.  
“Listen to me,” Michael said softly, “Here, Jeremy sit up and look at me.”  
Jeremy did as Michael told him to, maybe he wouldn’t leave as fast this way. He tried to stop crying so Michael won’t see how truly weak he was.  
Michael gently cupped his face and wiped away the tears, “I could never hate you. Now tell me what’s wrong?”  
Michael was being kind and gentle and treating him like he was worth something, something he definitely didn’t deserve. It was just too much and Jeremy began to sob harder.  
“I’m so sorry,” he sobbed, “I don’t deserve you and I’m sorry I let the SQUIP cut you out. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why you took me back. I’m so worthless and horrible. My personality was horrible before, the SQUIP made sure I knew that, and I don’t know how you put up with me. Then I got the SQUIP and I abandoned you and I’m so sorry I love you I’m sorry.”  
“Okay I couldn’t understand most of that but I’m going to tell you that you are not and were never worthless. Your personality wasn’t horrible before the SQUIP you were amazing and nerdy and adorable. I never blamed you for abandoning me, okay maybe a little in the beginning but you were being manipulated and you didn’t really want too. I love you too. I don’t blame you for any of it,” Michael said cradling Jeremy’s face in his hands. Jeremy sobbed wrapping himself around Michael.  
“Shhh, it’s okay. It will all be okay,” Michael said softly, rocking him, “I’ve got you. I’ll protect you. I won’t let you go under,” he kissed the side of Jeremy’s head and continued rocking him until his sobs turned to hiccups and he slowly stopped crying. Nothing was fixed, Jeremy still hated himself and he didn’t know who he was, but now Michael was there and maybe, just maybe, Michael could help him make it better.


End file.
